July 28th, 2016.

It’s interesting that I was making all these observations of leftovers from the S.U. and European fascist regimes — and yet exiting Prague, no police come through our train like they did when we came into the C.R. from Austria, but as soon as we get into Germany; police officers (and quite a few of them) start coming through checking every compartment. Munich is just one incident in those that have happened and those that will. It’s made me think of these echoes from what’s passed and what’s made lasting impressions and changes and I wonder how long the current state of terrorism, home grown and foreign, will continue. These things don’t get forgotten. And I wonder what will happen as civil unrest slides into the focus of the general “comfortable” population; (forced into focus – not merely created recently as some would like to tout).

I find it odd to hear people who wouldn’t really be under any threat solely based on who they are declare “What if I get shot in the States!” Even the foreigners the U.S. tends to love (re: white; because there are “good” foreigners and “bad” ones), don’t really have any cause to be alarmed, and yet they still think our police and home grown terrorist attacks will lead to their death in the States. I feel that this type of fear has been what U.S. Citizens have felt for Eastern Europe for a long time. The roles seems to have been reversed.

On the more realistic side, countries have started issuing travel warnings for black men entering the U.S. • A concern that is all together real. It’s been interesting to hear accounts of people’s emotional relationship with the U.S. As I travel through various regions of Europe. People who still saw in the states {The American Dream} no longer do. They’ve seen the edges crumbling and are sad and disappointed. Never mind that it’s always been this disappointing. The entire world, based on what I’ve heard in my travels, seems to think this is the end of this epoch as we know it and that the US is going to destroy everything. They think we’re m*d and st*p*d. We are proving to be what they always thought we were.



Where “free” sits in your gut like rocks.
Where we believe the worst before the best.
Where we run from those who “help.”
Where a smile can turn into a nightmare.
Where we cling to those like us.
Where those who aren’t try to put us in our place.
Where everyone is “Too loud. Too angry.”
Where we’re “Too aggressive. Too much.”
Where we’re too this or too that but never enough.
Where bodies turn into Facebook banners.
Where “I stand with [blank]” is compulsory.
Where you don’t have to mean it though.
Where you don’t have to understand it though.
Where you support fighters but refuse to fight.
Where you clap others on the back for their sacrifices.
Where you choose to be a bystander.
Where it’s either follow your heart or your work.
Where it’s painful to truly do both.
Where it’s supposed to be a dream but
Where there’s barely any sleep.
Where we take what we can to not be where we are.
Where shadows mean more
Where the children are right
Where we should be scared IN the dark
Where we should also be scared in the light
Where the good guys — the good cops are Hate
Where we, us, the “bad guys” are family

Where I’ll kiss you any way I can because it might be the last time I kiss you or send you my love or send you a prayer or warm vibe or a shoulder to cry on where we constantly have to validate each other and check in on each other because it is not just about being a little sad it’s about making sure we aren’t dragged under the waves. Because just in case you aren’t there tomorrow and God when I wake up please be there — I look for you just to make sure you’re still here for another tomorrow. I love you too much to not fight for you and I’ll kiss you and kiss you and even if I hate you I’ll still kiss you just in case it will keep you here until tomorrow.